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[10/28/03 - 12:00 AM]
Cbs, UPN Promise Sweeps to Remember
By The Futon Critic Staff (TFC)

CHICAGO (thefutoncritic.com) -- The two Viacom-owned networks, CBS and UPN, are promising a "November to Remember" as the pair have released detailed information about their respective November sweeps plans.

Here's a look at CBS' breakdown for the period (via press release):

Thursday, Oct. 30

SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- In the first of a two-part episode, there are surprises and a revelation. The survivors thought they were ready for anything, but they get blind-sided by something no survivor castaway has ever been hit with before. They must also deal with "the curse of the Pearl Islands." A castaway makes a monumental decision. Jeff Probst hosts.

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- The body of a man dressed in a full-size raccoon outfit leads the CSIs into the fetish world of "Plushies and Furries," where people dress in animal costumes. Willie Garson ("Sex and the City") guest stars.

WITHOUT A TRACE (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- After a young mother goes missing from the driveway of her suburban home, Jack (Anthony LaPaglia) realizes the profile matches those of five victims whose high-profile disappearances and eventual murders he was unable to prevent 12 years earlier.

Friday, Oct. 31

JOAN OF ARCADIA (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- God asks Joan (Amber Tamblyn) to try out for the cheerleading team, and Will's (Joe Mantegna) officers track the mother of an abandoned infant to Joan's high school.

JAG (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Harm (David James Elliott) is shocked to discover the CIA has fired him because of his well-publicized exploits and finds a new job flying a crop dusting plane for a no-nonsense, teenage boss.

THE HANDLER (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Joe (Joe Pantoliano) and Heather (Lola Glaudini) work a sting operation involving an accused corporate raider who has hired them to take a hit out on one of his fugitive co-workers. Meanwhile, Lily (Anna Belknap) and Darnell (Hill Harper) pose as a book dealer and a supplier in order to take down a forger who has been trying to pass off fake manuscripts as genuine.

Saturday, Nov. 1

HACK (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Olshansky (David Morse) tries to help a woman (guest star Kelli Williams) with amnesia determine her identity while protecting her from the person or persons making repeated attempts on her life.

THE DISTRICT (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Mannion (Craig T. Nelson) and the team reopen a 17-year-old cold case when a girl is found murdered in the streets of D.C. "Jupiter," a serial killer that was never caught, appears to have re-emerged.

Sunday, Nov. 2

CBS AT 75 (8:00-11:00 PM, live ET/delayed PT), a three-hour live event, celebrates the Network�s monumental anniversary. A star-studded party atmosphere, live from the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York, will feature exciting moments from the Network�s spectacular archive of entertainment, news, sports and radio. Presenters and guests from CBS�s family of stars, as well as surprise appearances, will help viewers remember some of the most remarkable, informative, entertaining and humorous moments the Network has presented over the years. Scheduled to participate are Alan Alda, Candice Bergen, Carol Burnett, Andy Griffith, Don Johnson, Jane Seymour, William Petersen, Tom Selleck, the Smothers Brothers, Ted Danson, Mary Tyler Moore, Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Angela Lansbury, Marla Gibbs, John Amos, Tyne Daly and many more.

Monday, Nov. 3

YES, DEAR (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) -- On bring your children to work day, Greg (Anthony Clark) tries to prove he is a cooler dad than Jimmy (Mike O'Malley) by taking the family to Legoland.

STILL STANDING (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When Brian (Taylor Ball) refuses to shower with the other boys, Bill (Mark Addy) investigates and ends up embarrassing Brian by revealing his "big" secret.

EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) -- Amy (Monica Horan) and Robert (Brad Garrett) get a visit from Amy's brother (guest star Chris Elliott) who doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon. Fred Willard and Georgia Engel also guest star as Amy's parents.

TWO AND A HALF MEN (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Jake (Angus T. Jones) sees the attractive tattooed behind of one of Charlie's neighbors who uses his shower after she goes surfing, and Alan (Jon Cryer) and Charlie (Charlie Sheen) are forced to deal with Jake's pending sexual awakening.

CSI: MIAMI (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) �- In the wake of a hurricane, the CSIs investigate three deaths that may or may not have been caused by the natural disaster.

Tuesday, Nov. 4

NAVY NCIS (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When a sailor with no history of drug abuse overdoses on speed, Gibbs (Mark Harmon), Todd (Sasha Alexander) and Dinozzo (Michael Weatherly) are summoned to the aircraft carrier to discover the source of the drugs.

THE GUARDIAN (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Nick (Simon Baker) helps a former client when he is assigned to clean up an inner city park as part of his community service. Meanwhile, Fallin & Fallin hosts an adoption day, which propels Burton (Dabney Coleman) to consider adopting Shannon. Emilio Estevez directs the episode.

JUDGING AMY (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Everything is in chaos as Amy's (Amy Brenneman) wedding day approaches: her job is in jeopardy, Stu's (Reed Diamond) groomsmen are disgruntled when they learn that Stu wants them to wear kilts, Vincent comes home and Amy is uncertain about marrying Stu. Former series regular Dan Futterman returns as Amy's brother, Vincent Gray. This is the series' 100th episode.

Wednesday, Nov. 5

THE 37TH ANNUAL CMA AWARDS (8:00-11:00 PM, live ET/delayed PT), hosted by Vince Gill and originating live from the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, features country music's biggest stars as they gather to receive their industry's highest accolades. Shania Twain, Toby Keith, Martina McBride, Dolly Parton, Norah Jones, Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett are among those stars scheduled to perform.

Thursday, Nov. 6

SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- The two-part episode concludes as the castaways react to the curse of the Pearl Islands. One tribe hosts a "Survivor" first�a wedding! Jeff Probst hosts.

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Dr. Robbins (Robert David Hall) receives a disembodied head, sending Grissom (William Petersen) from the bustle of Las Vegas to a small town known as Jackpot, Nev. Grissom's investigation is met with skepticism from a small town sheriff who might know more than he's willing to tell.

WITHOUT A TRACE (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Malone (Anthony LaPaglia) and the team search for a seemingly well-adjusted teenage boy when he disappears from home after he was supposedly studying for his SATs only to learn that he dropped out of his study sessions and discovered that his girlfriend and other friends were involved in afternoon sex parties.

Friday, Nov. 7

JOAN OF ARCADIA (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- After God asks her to listen to those in need, Joan (Amber Tamblyn) offers to help a woman on a bus who needs a babysitter for her young son. "Cute Boy" God (Kris Lemche) returns.

JAG (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Cmdr. Turner (Scott Lawrence) is sent to a submarine in the Sea of Japan that has picked up the crew of a North Korean spy sub to determine how to best handle a potentially unstable international situation. Meanwhile, Harm (David James Elliott) returns to JAG where the Admiral buries him with case files. He tries to find the time to help an old Navy veteran (guest star Ossie Davis).

THE HANDLER (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Lou Diamond Phillips ("La Bamba") guest stars as Andy Torres, a highly respected fellow handler, whom Joe (Joe Pantoliano) is forced to investigate when it is revealed that he is somehow linked to the death of a councilwoman.

Saturday, Nov. 8

THE DISTRICT (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When a man is murdered by a musket during a Civil War reenactment, Mannion (Craig T. Nelson) and the team must find the killer and learn that some centuries old resentment may have played a part in the crime.

Sunday, Nov. 9

COLD CASE (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A prison inmate looking to shave some time off his sentence informs Lilly (Kathryn Morris) of a conversation he overheard 22 years ago insinuating that the wrong man is serving time for the murder of a 16-year-old girl. Danny Pino ("Lucy") joins the cast as Lilly's new partner, Scotty Valens, who deems "cold cases" a career demotion.

THE ELIZABETH SMART STORY (9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT)-- Teenager Elizabeth Smart's disturbing 2002 abduction from her Salt Lake City home and her remarkable return nine months later is revealed in this exclusive broadcast drama based on accounts by the Smart family. The drama will center on the Smart family's search efforts, the community's support and how they navigated their way through the complicated justice system and the nationwide press frenzy over the case. Dylan Baker ("Road to Perdition") stars as Ed Smart, Lindsay Frost ("To Rich: The Secret Life of Doris Duke") as Lois Smart and Amber Marshall ("The Christmas Shoes") as Elizabeth Smart.

Monday, Nov. 10

YES, DEAR (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) -- Even though all Greg (Anthony Clark) wants to do on his birthday is play golf, Kim (Jean Louisa Kelly) goes out and plans a big surprise trip to Sea World and arranges for Greg to be a dolphin trainer for the day.

STILL STANDING (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Against their better judgment, Bill (Mark Addy) and Judy (Jami Gertz) volunteer to be chaperones at the school dance and can't help but interfere in their children's personal lives.

EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) -- A small white lie from Raymond (Ray Romano) to his mother (Doris Roberts) gets out of control.

TWO AND A HALF MEN (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Charlie (Charlie Sheen) becomes surrounded by a gaggle of 10-year-olds when he produces a musical for Jake's school.

CSI: MIAMI (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- During the qualifying race at the Miami Grand Prix Americas, a pit-crew fuel man is engulfed in invisible flames and dies. The CSI team must investigate what happened.

Tuesday, Nov. 11

THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW REUNION: BACK TO MAYBERRY (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT), hosted and narrated by series star Andy Griffith, is a heartwarming hour of the best moments from the long-running classic television show. Series regulars Ron Howard, Don Knotts and Jim Nabors join Andy as they reminisce about their years together.

THE GUARDIAN (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Nick (Simon Baker) and Lulu's (Wendy Moniz) lives are forever changed when she learns that she is pregnant with his child.

JUDGING AMY (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Amy (Amy Brenneman) must deal with a big decision she has just made. She is also sent to "judicial counseling" after setting aside the verdict in the felony murder trial, making her wonder if criminal court is right for her.

Wednesday, Nov. 12

THE KING OF QUEENS (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) -- Carrie (Leah Remini) is thrilled with her new gynecologist (guest star Judge Reinhold), but her future with the doctor is put in jeopardy when Danny (Gary Valentine) charges him more than he quoted for some landscaping work.

Thursday, Nov. 13

SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- The ninth survivor is voted off. Jeff Probst hosts.

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A model has been missing for almost a week and no one knows where she is despite the constant media attention. After a strange 911 call, Catherine (Marg Helgenberger) is certain she has found the guy responsible but must get him to confess.

WITHOUT A TRACE (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Malone (Anthony LaPaglia) and the team are completely baffled when no family members come forward after an unidentified 10-year-old Hispanic boy is abducted in broad daylight on a street in Spanish Harlem.

Friday, Nov. 14

JOAN OF ARCADIA (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Joan (Amber Tamblyn) has a crisis of faith after God asks her to stop her classmate, Adam (Christopher Marquette), a passionate artist, from entering his artwork in a school fair.

JAG (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Harm (David James Elliott) and Mac (Catherine Bell) take opposing sides when a decorated Marine helicopter pilot interferes with local law enforcement during a hostage stand-off and he is investigated for violation of the federal Posse Comitatus Act, which bans military action on U.S. soil.

THE HANDLER (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Joe (Joe Pantoliano) and his agents pose as pornographic filmmakers to entrap a bar owner whom the LAPD believes killed his missing pregnant wife and is now trying to collect on her multi-million dollar life insurance policy.

Saturday, Nov. 15

HACK (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Olshansky (David Morse) and Marcellus (Andre Braugher) help a young woman on the run from a corrupt small town policeman (guest star Robert Pastorelli) trying to cover up a murder back home.

THE DISTRICT (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When Ricky, Ella's son, ends up in the hospital after taking ecstasy, Mannion (Craig T. Nelson) is determined more than ever to stamp out drug trafficking in the District.

Sunday, Nov. 16

COLD CASE (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A 75-year-old woman contacts Lilly (Kathryn Morris) seeking justice for her murdered son, a victim of a gay bashing incident in 1963. The woman believes the police never aggressively pursued the case because of her son's lifestyle as well as social prejudices at the time.

THE REAGANS, PART 1 (9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A special four-hour event mini-series stars Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winners Judy Davis ("Life With Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows") and James Brolin ("Marcus Welby, M.D.") in a fact-based drama that chronicles the triumphs and tragedies of the extraordinary, iconic couple and the impact that their intense love for each other had on their family, our country and American culture, all set against the backdrop of the political world of the 1980s. Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, executive producers of the Academy Award and Golden Globe-winning "Chicago," are the executive producers.

Monday, Nov. 17

YES, DEAR (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) -- When Chuck Norris, playing himself, takes a role as a security guard in an upcoming film, he decides to spend time with Jimmy (Mike O'Malley) in order to prepare for the part. While thrilled to be spending time with one of his favorite action heroes, Jimmy quickly becomes disappointed to learn that Chuck Norris, the person, is less exciting than the star he portrays in movies.

STILL STANDING (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- To boost Linda's confidence, Judy (Jami Gertz) and Bill (Mark Addy) encourage Lauren to interview Linda (Jennifer Irwin) as a role model for a school report. When Lauren finds out about her side business of making and selling the very popular, Midwest trend of "goose clothes," she decides to join her.

EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) -- Debra's mother (guest star Katherine Helmond) enlists Ray's (Ray Romano) unwilling help in planning a surprise party for Debra (Patricia Heaton).

TWO AND A HALF MEN (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A woman bonds with Evelyn (Holland Taylor) and Jake (Angus T. Jones), prompting Charlie (Charlie Sheen) to suspect she's using them to get to him.

CSI: MIAMI -- The life and death of Horatio's (David Caruso) brother is exposed when a woman from his brother's past undercover work comes forward with his illegitimate child.

Tuesday, Nov. 18

THE REAGANS, PART 2 (9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A special four-hour event mini-series stars Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winners Judy Davis ("Life With Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows") and James Brolin ("Marcus Welby, M.D.") in a fact-based drama that chronicles the triumphs and tragedies of the extraordinary, iconic couple and the impact that their intense love for each other had on their family, our country and American culture, all set against the backdrop of the political world of the 1980s. Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, executive producers of the Academy Award and Golden Globe-winning "Chicago," are the executive producers.

Wednesday, Nov. 19

THE VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW (TBD), featuring top models Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks and Gisele Bundchen, pays a sexy tribute to Broadway, featuring theater-inspired outfits, segments and dancers. In addition to a provocative runway presentation infused with showbiz elements, the special will include musical performances, red carpet interviews, model profiles and a behind- the-scenes look at the making of the world's most celebrated fashion show. Singer and musician Sting will perform his new single, "Send Your Love," while Mary J. Blige joins Sting to perform their new duet, "Whenever I Say Your Name."

Thursday, Nov. 20

SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Jeff Probst hosts.

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When a bomb explodes on the strip, the frightening possibility of terrorism becomes a little too real.

WITHOUT A TRACE (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A fireman who heroically pulled two of his fellow firefighters from a burning building vanishes after returning to the station later that evening. As Jack (Anthony LaPaglia) and his team investigate, they meet resistance from the closed world of the firehouse and the discovery that several of the fightfighters may be guilty of starting the fire.

Friday, Nov. 21

JOAN OF ARCADIA (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Joan (Amber Tamblyn) takes a sudden interest in history class when she learns that modern day scholars thought Joan of Arc (who spoke with God) was a schizophrenic�and Joan inadvertently becomes a martyr in her school when she refuses to retake a test she aces.

JAG (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- The star pitcher of the Navy baseball team faces an assault charge when he beans the star hitter of the Marine team. Oakland Athletics' pitcher Barry Zito guest stars.

THE HANDLER (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Joe (Joe Pantoliano) puts his agents in place to try to recover millions of dollars stolen during a DEA mission gone bad. Laura San Giacomo ("Just Shoot Me") guest stars.

Saturday, Nov. 22

HACK (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When Jamie (Matt Czuchry) discovers that one of his childhood friends has become a prostitute, he enlists Mike's (David Morse) help in an attempt to keep the young girl from further destroying her life.

THE DISTRICT (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- In a burst of sunshine, a vision of the Virgin Mary appears on the side of Mannion's (Craig T. Nelson) building. This "miracle" prompts the survivor of a decades-old bank robbery to repent for his sins and distribute his loot and other stolen goods to the poor of the neighborhood. Faced with a Robin Hood-style villain, Mannion and his men must track him down and end the string of heists.

Sunday, Nov. 23

COLD CASE (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A woman emerges from a two-year coma with no memory of her identity or the unsolved murder of her 6-year-old daughter. Lilly (Kathryn Morris) and her team re-open the case and learn that the woman had a dark past which forces Lilly to deal with issues regarding her own mother.

FALLEN ANGEL (9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- Emmy Award-winning Gary Sinise ("George Wallace") and Joely Richardson ("The Patriot") star in this new "Hallmark Hall of Fame" presentation about a big-city lawyer who reluctantly returns to his small hometown and, while reconnecting with a young woman he's known as a child, discovers the life-altering truths that it is never to late to forgive � or to love.

Monday, Nov. 24

YES, DEAR (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) -- When Jimmy (Mike O'Malley) can't go with his father-in-law, Don (guest star Dan Hedaya), to a father-son fishing tournament, Greg (Anthony Clark) reluctantly steps in and unexpectedly bonds with him.

STILL STANDING (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When Bill (Mark Addy) and Judy (Jami Gertz) find out Lauren (Renee Olmstead) is going to church behind their back with her boyfriend's family, they find themselves taking a good look at their values and what they're passing down to their children.

EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) -- All of the Barones spend Thanksgiving at Amy's parent's house and it doesn't go very well. Georgia Engel and Fred Willard guest star as Amy's parents and Chris Elliott guest stars as Amy's brother.

TWO AND A HALF MEN (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- When one of Charlie's (Charlie Sheen) on-again, off-again relationships (guest starring Denise Richards, Sheen's real-life wife) informs him she's engaged, Charlie thinks that maybe he's missed out on "the one." To woo her back, he invites her over for an old-fashioned Thanksgiving dinner that ends up spiraling out of control.

CSI: MIAMI (10:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) -- A woman found eaten by a shark turns out to be bait for a private investigator who is being hired by wives to catch their unfaithful husbands.

Tuesday, Nov. 25

THE GUARDIAN (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- For a client, Nick (Simon Baker) must rid a large warehouse of homeless people who have lived there for many years. However, the assignment gets complicated when Lulu (Wendy Moniz) represents the homeless people who, by law, may now actually own the abandoned building.

Wednesday, Nov. 26

THE KING OF QUEENS (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) -- Thanksgiving themed episode.

BECKER (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) -- What starts out to be a quiet little Thanksgiving dinner for just Becker (Ted Danson) and Chris (Nancy Travis), turns into a stressful free-for-all when the guest list expands to include Margaret (Hattie Winston), Jake (Alex Desert), Linda (Shawnee Smith) and Grace (guest star Jaime Pressly), Chris' estranged sister with anger management problems. When Chris reluctantly reveals that Grace has just been released from prison, where she served time for cutting off her annoying husband's pinky in a fit of rage, dinner becomes quite tense as everyone watches her for signs of a relapse.

UPN, meanwhile, offers up its own assortment of guest stars, specials and events:

Friday, Oct. 31

UPN MOVIE FRIDAY: BLADE (8:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) Wesley Snipes stars as Blade, the half-man, half-vampire hero, who sets out with an arsenal of deadly weapons to wage a bloody war against vampires after they killed his mother, but the hunter becomes the hunted when a rebel vampire (Stephen Dorff) needs Blade's special blood in order to unleash the vampire god, La Magra, to enslave the human race.

Monday, Nov. 3

THE PARKERS (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � When Kim and Nikki win a guest appearance on their favorite daytime talk show, "Zorah," Andell must sub in as Kim's mom when Nikki gets sick on the day of the show, but when Nikki comes bursting into the studio also claiming to be Kim's mom, Zorah (guest star Debra Wilson) continues the show assuming that Andell and Nikki are lesbian mothers. Vivica A. Fox also guest stars.

EVE (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - J.T. and Shelly are all set to celebrate their three-month anniversary with a romantic weekend getaway until J.T. realizes he's already committed to play in a basketball tournament with his friends, and despite his attempt to soften the blow of canceling the trip with dinner and gifts, he still lands in the doghouse. L.A. Laker Derek Fisher guest stars.

GIRLFRIENDS (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - The baby shower for William's sister Linda and her pregnant girlfriend Kira turns Joan's living room into a maternity ward when Kira goes into labor, and William, the surrogate father of his sister's child, begins to question his place in the baby's life. Sandra Bernhard ("Roseanne") guest stars as Kira's midwife.

HALF & HALF (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) - When Mona discovers a potential new talent Zora (guest star Tamyra Gray), she gets more than she bargains for when Zora makes a move on her, so Mona must figure out a way to break the news that she is not a lesbian without breaking Zora's heart or spirit. Kiko Ellsworth also guest stars.

Tuesday, Nov. 4

ONE ON ONE (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � After a freak accident, Duane inexplicably hears the thoughts of white people around him and becomes more aware of the racism that exists in their minds, so Flex decides to use Duane's new power to find out if his job is in jeopardy after suspecting the new station management is discriminating against the African-American employees.

ALL OF US (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - When the station does a profile on Robert's home life, he insists that both his finace� Tia and his ex-wife Neesee be included, but Neesee is edited out of the version that airs.

ROCK ME BABY (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - When Jimmy and Carl head to Aspen for a DJ convention, they encounter their competitors, Doctor Dre & Ed Lover (guest stars as themselves), with Dre instigating a fight with Carl and Danny Bonaduce (guest stars as himself) spends the entire convention trying to get back at Jimmy for ruining his expensive suede jacket. Traci Bingham ("Baywatch") also guest stars.

Wednesday, Nov. 5

ENTERPRISE (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) � After an accident on Enterprise, Archer loses his short-term memory and begins to wake up every day unable to remember anything from the day before, and despite the crew's best efforts to keep him involved, it becomes clear over time that they can't continue to function in this manner, leading T'Pol to become his caretaker and Trip to take command of the ship.

JAKE 2.0 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) � An intercepted phone call leads the NSA to believe that a dangerous Polish mercenary has arrived in Washington, D.C. to kidnap someone associated with their nanite project, so while the NSA assumes Jake is the target, in fact, the man is after someone else on the team.

Friday, Nov. 7

UPN MOVIE FRIDAY: KINGDOM COME (8:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) BROADCAST NETWORK PREMIERE - No one much liked Bud Slocumb, not even his wife Raynelle (Whoopi Goldberg), so when Bud passes away, his family returns to the small California town to celebrate his life and especially his death, but the reunion turns ugly when several unresolved family issues emerge.

Monday, Nov. 10

THE PARKERS (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � T's dad Thad (guest star R&B sensation Gerald Levert), a former member of a one-hit wonder group, comes for a rare visit hoping to start a new band with his son, and T is forced to decide between joining his dad or sticking with his band Freestyle Unity.

EVE (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - J.T. feels his privacy has been invaded after Shelly shares bedroom details with her girlfriends. Missy Elliott guest stars as herself.

GIRLFRIENDS (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - When Brock (guest star Malik Yoba) asks Joan to go to Vegas with him, she assumes that they're running off to get married, but as she obsesses over it, she begins to get cold feet.

HALF & HALF (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) - Spencer suddenly becomes irresistible to women because of his unavailable status while Dee Dee discovers that the man Phyllis is dating is married.

Tuesday, Nov. 11

ONE ON ONE (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � When Flex meets a female version of himself (guest star Robin Givens), an ambitious, sexy journalist, the sparks fly in the bedroom and out, but when Breanna learns that the woman is using her son Eric (guest star Romeo) to steal stories from Flex, father and daughter team up to seek revenge.

ALL OF US (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - Robert and Tia decide they're ready to move in together, unfortunately Bobby Jr. may not be so ready.

ROCK ME BABY (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - Months after Otis' birth, Beth still doesn't feel sexy, so her best friend Pam persuades her to take a striptease class after hearing the teacher Erin (guest star Brooke Burns) on Jimmy's radio show.

Wednesday, Nov. 12

ENTERPRISE (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) � After finding thousands of humans on a distant planet living in a town seemingly straight out of the Old West, Archer gets embroiled in a dangerous cultural conflict once he discovers that the humans are systematically oppressing the alien race that originally brought them to the world as slaves.

JAKE 2.0 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) � When a miniature nuclear bomb goes missing from a military base, the NSA suspects that the theft is an inside job, engineered by a member of the Wolf Pack, an elite U.S. Special Ops unit, so Jake is sent undercover as a new member of the team to ferret out the traitor.

Monday, Nov. 17

THE PARKERS (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � 100th EPISODE -- Determined to win an annual softball game, Kim, Stevie and Nikki hire an ex-Olympic softball player as a "ringer" to help them win, but when Professor Oglevee and T find out about it, they hire their own and the cheating ensues. Former Cincinnati Reds outfielder and World Series champion Eric Davis guest stars as himself.

EVE (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - When J.T.'s mother walks in on him and Shelly in bed, Shelly fears their romance will sour unless she can win his mother's acceptance and respect, and Rita breaks up with her "perfect man" when their sexual role-playing typecasts her as the submissive one.

GIRLFRIENDS (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - When Brock tells Joan that he doesn't want children, she's begins to question their future together. Malik Yoba guest stars.

HALF & HALF (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) - When Spencer's cousin Chauncey is hired at Delicious Records, he recounts the story of the night in college that he caught Mona and Spencer having sex. Shaun Robinson ("Access Hollywood") guest star.

Tuesday, Nov. 18

ONE ON ONE (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � Succumbing to peer pressure, Breanna decides she is going to lose her virginity, while Arnaz's mother convinces Flex to have the "sex talk" with him.

ALL OF US (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - Johnny (guest star Will Smith), a recently divorced college friend of Robert, Dirk and Neesee's, comes to town, but much to Robert's dismay, romantic sparks begin to fly between Johnny and Neesee.

ROCK ME BABY (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - When Otis gets a job modeling as a baby girl, Jimmy gets upset while Beth becomes completely enchanted with the allure of the modeling world. Tempestt Bledsoe ("The Cosby Show") guest stars.

Wednesday, Nov. 19

ENTERPRISE (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) � An engineering room accident leaves Trip mortally injured and Enterprise disabled and adrift inside a destructive space cloud, so in a desperate attempt to save both their chief engineer and the ship, Dr. Phlox creates a clone of Trip.

JAKE 2.0 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) � Jake goes on trial before an NSA emergency board of inquiry after he disobeys a direct order to kill a sexy, female spy accused of stealing a biological weapon, but if Jake is found guilty, the Special Ops project -- and Jake -- will be shut down for good. Laura Harris ("24," "Dead Like Me") guest stars.

Friday, Nov. 21

VIBE AWARDS: BEATS, STYLE, FLAVOR (8:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) - Co-hosted by Queen Latifah, UPN and Vibe present a two-hour special event dedicated to celebrating urban music, featuring contemporary musical performances and special celebrity appearances.

Monday, Nov. 24

THE PARKERS (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � When Nikki becomes the professor's TA, she butts heads with the pretty young student who flirts with the professor for special treatment, while Kim, Stevie, T and Freddy compete for $5000 by volunteering to live in cramped quarters for a psych study.

EVE (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - J.T.'s old flame comes to town so Shelly feels she must up her game in order to keep her man from being tempted away.

GIRLFRIENDS (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - When Toni discovers that Todd kept a message from an ex-boyfriend from her, distrust and jealousy put their marriage in jeopardy.

HALF & HALF (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) - Dee Dee learns the value of keeping secrets when her cousin comes to visit for Big Dee Dee's baby shower.

Tuesday, Nov. 25

ONE ON ONE (8:00-8:30 PM, ET/PT) � To boost ratings for The Flex Files, the station hires a sexy female sidekick for Flex, who promptly steals his limelight, meanwhile Duane, finally meets the man who could be his father (guest star Smokey Robinson).

ALL OF US (8:30-9:00 PM, ET/PT) - Robert and Tia get passionate in the bedroom, but get scared after they fear that Bobby witnessed it and told Neesee.

ROCK ME BABY (9:00-9:30 PM, ET/PT) - After actress Jessica Alba appears as a guest on Jimmy and Carl's radio show, her flirtatious behavior challenges Jimmy and Beth's relationship and how they deal with sexual fantasies about someone other than each other.

Wednesday, Nov. 26

ENTERPRISE (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) � Following a visit from the mysterious time- traveling crewman Daniels, Archer and T'Pol are sent back in time to present-day Earth in order to stop the Xindi who have already sent agents to the early 21st century to build a new biological weapon to destroy the human race.

WWE SPECIAL (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) - "The Stone Cold Truth" - Legendary WWE wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin tell his own story, in his own words, in his own unique style. For the first time, this notoriously private individual will open his heart and home to the world with inclusive interviews from his family, ex-wives, and children, as well as Vince McMahon, Triple H and other WWE superstars.





  [october 2003]  
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· 24 (FOX)
· ACCESS HOLLYWOOD (SYNDICATION)
· ALL OF US (CW)
· BAYWATCH (SYNDICATION)
· BECKER (CBS)
· CHRISTMAS SHOES, THE (CBS)
· COLD CASE (CBS)
· CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS)
· CSI: MIAMI (CBS)
· DEAD LIKE ME (SHOWTIME)
· DISTRICT, THE (CBS)
· ELIZABETH SMART STORY, THE (CBS)
· EVE (UPN)
· EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND (CBS)
· FALLEN ANGEL (CBS)
· GIRLFRIENDS (CW)
· GUARDIAN, THE (CBS)
· HACK (CBS)
· HALF & HALF (UPN)
· HANDLER, THE (CBS)
· JAG (CBS)
· JAKE 2.0 (UPN)
· JOAN OF ARCADIA (CBS)
· JUDGING AMY (CBS)
· JUST SHOOT ME (NBC)
· KING OF QUEENS, THE (CBS)
· LIFE WITH JUDY GARLAND: ME AND MY SHADOWS (ABC)
· LUCY (CBS)
· NCIS (CBS)
· ONE ON ONE (UPN)
· PARKERS, THE (UPN)
· REAGANS, THE (SHOWTIME)
· ROCK ME BABY (UPN)
· SEX AND THE CITY (HBO)
· STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE (UPN)
· STILL STANDING (CBS)
· SURVIVOR (CBS)
· TWO AND A HALF MEN (CBS)
· WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS)
· YES, DEAR (CBS)





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